her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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