i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize