She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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