Whod you bang
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
