Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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