I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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