the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
