wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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