I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am spending my child support on dildos
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
