Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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