i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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