i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
