Acid is not a monday night drug
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need to calm my uterus...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
