So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
