I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
