Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
