Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The beer is more important than you right now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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