My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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