Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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