paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
