we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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