Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
