Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
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