I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Can't talk, ducks in the car
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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