We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize