honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My bed smells like the plague
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
