Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
