I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it hurts more in the daytime
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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