As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
