I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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