A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
where are you?
Hypothermia
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
