Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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