it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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