So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
