Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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