I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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