Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
