is wine microwaveable?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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