I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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