I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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