from now on my penis is your penis
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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