I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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