I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
