I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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