I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
