You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize