Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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