You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
