Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
