I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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