i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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