I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
