Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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