You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Someone signed my nipple.
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