Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
