i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
