Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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