i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize