i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
