All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
