he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
