its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
