She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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